Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - The Connection Between Your Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviors
Our thoughts, feelings and behaviors are often more connected than we realise and may even shape each other. Sometimes, a single thought can change the way we feel.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offers a way of understanding this connection. Rather than viewing difficult thoughts or emotions as something that needs to be simply pushed away, CBT helps us notice the patterns between how we think, how we feel and how we respond. By becoming aware of these patterns, we can begin to explore whether there are different ways of understanding a situation and responding to it.
What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?
CBT is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on the relationship between our thoughts, emotions and behaviors.
The way we interpret an experience can influence how we feel and what we do next. In turn, our behaviors and experiences can reinforce the way we think. It is similar to a cycle.
For example, imagine that you send a message to a friend and they fail to reply for several hours. You might think “They must be annoyed at me.” Feeling anxious or rejected, you might then decide not to message them again, withdraw from the friendship or repeatedly check your phone.
But what if there is another explanation? Perhaps they’re busy, tired or simply have not seen the message.
The situation itself has not changed - only the meaning we have attached to it. That meaning influences how we feel and respond to the situation. CBT helps us slow down and become more aware of these patterns.
CBT is centered around 3 core principles:
Psychological problems are based, in part, on faulty or unhelpful ways of thinking
Psychological problems are based, in part, on learned patterns of unhelpful behavior
People suffering from psychological problems can learn better ways of coping with them, thereby relieving their symptoms and becoming more effective in their
How are Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior connected?
CBT often looks at three closely interrelated areas that heavily influence one another:
Thoughts: the interpretations, assumptions and beliefs we have about ourselves, other people and the situations around us
Feelings: the emotional experience such as sadness, anxiety, anger or shame
Behaviors: the things we do in response, including actions, things we avoid and ways we try to cope
For instance, if you think “I am going to embarrass myself”, you may feel anxious and decide to avoid speaking up. Avoiding the situation might bring temporary relief, but it can also reinforce the belief that speaking up is something you cannot handle. Over time, these patterns can become automatic.
CBT helps bring some of these patterns into awareness so that there is more room to consider what might be happening and how you would like to respond.
What are unhelpful thinking patterns?
When we are distressed, our thoughts can sometimes become more rigid, negative or focused on the worst possible outcome. These thoughts can feel very convincing, particularly when we are already overwhelmed.
CBT may refer to some of these patterns as cognitive distortions or unhelpful thinking patterns. These can include all-or-nothing thinking, fortune telling, labeling, overgeneralizing, mind-reading or focusing heavily on the negative while overlooking other information.
CBT encourages us to identify and examine these thoughts with curiosity and ask whether there may be a more balanced or realistic way of looking at the situation.
So is it just thinking positively?
Not necessarily. It is not about replacing every negative thought with a positive one. If something genuinely difficult is happening, pretending that everything is fine may not feel helpful or realistic.
Instead, CBT teaches us how to look at our thoughts more closely. For example, instead of
“They didn’t reply to my message, so they must be upset with me.”
We might ask:
“What else could explain why they haven’t replied and what evidence do I actually have that they are upset with me?”
The aim is not to convince ourselves that everything is fine. It is to pause and consider whether there may be other explanations we have overlooked before our interpretation shapes how we feel and respond.
How does CBT work and look like in practice?
You and your therapist work together to understand the patterns that may be contributing to your difficulties and explore ways of responding differently. Looking at thoughts together can help create some distance from automatic thoughts.
CBT is often structured and practical. Therapy may include learning about patterns, keeping track of thoughts and emotions and practicing new ways of responding or approaching situations you have been avoiding. Occasionally, keeping a record of thoughts, feelings and behaviors in a journal throughout the week may be required.
Who does CBT help?
CBT has been widely demonstrated to be effective supporting people with:
Depression
Anxiety disorders
Alcohol and drug use problems
Marital problems
Eating disorders
Severe mental illness
We cannot always control what thoughts come into our minds and sometimes uneasy thoughts will flood it. However, we can learn how to be more aware of them and understand the pattern behind them. This in turn helps us determine our feelings and course of action afterwards.
CBT offers a space to slow down and look at these patterns with greater curiosity and compassion. Creating that little space between a thought and our response can open new possibilities for how we understand ourselves and navigate the situations around us.
CBT as an umbrella of therapies
In addition to traditional CBT as described above, it is worth noting that CBT also houses a family of third-wave CBT models, which include Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT), Schema Therapy, and Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT). These models under the family of CBT recognise that thoughts, feelings and behaviours are interconnected, and the exploration of linkages between these internal domains can unearth enriching insights into personal patterns and how an individual experiences life.
Each therapy under the umbrella of CBT carries distinct tools and techniques to support clients with generating an adaptive response to distress or difficult emotional experiences. If you have been recommended CBT, it can be helpful to discuss with your clinician what you are looking for in therapy. This allows them to consider the interventions under the CBT umbrella and tailor your therapy plan in a way that best supports your needs.
References
Beck Cognitive Behavior Therapy. (n.d.). Essentials of CBT: The Beck Approach.
The CBT model of emotions. (n.d.). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Los Angeles.
https://cogbtherapy.com/cbt-model-of-emotions
Cognitive Behavior Therapy. (n.d.). Mayo Clinic.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/cognitive-behavioral-therapy/about/pac-20384610
What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? (2017). Clinical Practice Guideline for the treatment of
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral
Hayes, S. C., & Hofmann, S. G. (2017). The third wave of cognitive behavioral therapy and the
rise of process-based care. World Psychiatry, 16(3), 245–246. https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20442
